[ENTRY] a day with FOUR...

hmmm... first of all, I am so sorry for not updating recently... I've been VERY BERRY CHERRY busy these days with life... urgh... I was hoping to hire me a PA a.k.a. personal assistant... mwahaha :D! nah, I'm not rich... so, back to the topic... today, me and my friends; FAFA, DAYAH, SYAFIQAH and HUA HONG had set us up a date to go to the FUN FAIR regarding to the annual celebration which is the PESTA AIR :D! it was fun! they got boat racing, karaoke-ing, and etc.... so, first agenda was tea time at YUSUF RESTAURANT... we are sponsored by someone... hehee... we spent almost half an hour there and at the end, we are all full :D!

after that, we went to the fun fair... just walking around, and then SYAFIQAH invited me to play a game there.. so, I eyed on the 'pop balloons with darts'... I just randomly played it and got 5 out of 6 darts and got a green frog plushie :D!

hehe.. cute right?? hahahaa xD! after that we went to the food courts... and after that, we went to G-MART, just looking around.. then my mom called to tell me it's time to go.. so, we parted there :D! and it was DAMN fun! wanna do it again... so until then, see ya! hahaa..

[ENTRY] if only I knew everything...

at SCHOOL!

the EXAM today was MATHEMATICS...

and it was DAMN easy!

at first I thought it was HARD as hell...

but in the end, I got through it all xD!!!

so, feeling HAPPY now!!!

but...

I am still asking to myself...

why did HE do this to me???

what did I do to ACCEPT this???

I always asking those question in my HEART...

and now, back to SAD mode :'(...

I always pray for us to come back to the way before...

and I hope ALLAH will hear and fulfill my prays...

this also HAPPENS today...

whilst waking up from deep slumber...

I was shocked to see the harsh weather...

I don't know why does ALLAH is angry with us...

HE blew such wind and poured heavy rain on us...

I thought, maybe some people are doing things that could

IGNITE HIS angers...

lastly,

I want to ask ALLAH to give my friend back to me...

amin ya rabbal alamin...

[ENTRY] tragedy occurs in front of my eyes...

TODAY!

my EXAM was BASIC ECONOMY and PSK.

thank ALLAH it wasn't that hard.

alhamdulillah that I can ANSWER it well.

and also...

today got an ACCIDENT happened in front of the SCHOOL!

it was so TRAGIC...

but thankfully, nobody got hurt :D!

yeay!

 

BUT!

  

in the midst of my HARDSHIP...

I am still THINKING about you...

because...

you are my BEST FRIEND a.k.a. HAO PENGYOU...

I am still PUZZLED of what had happened to us...

I always wondering why won't you talk to me?

WHAT did I do wrong?!

WHY are you treating me like a PIECE of SHIT?!

HOW did we turned up to be like this?!

BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT ALL!!!

I only care that we could just get back to NORMAL!

please...

I'm begging, with all my heart...

to you...

for you...

to...

come back to...

ME!

please...

[ENTRY] time flies when you were with your friends...

it's true...

here are some pictures of my friends

at my house doing some 'STUDY GROUP' :D :::

 this is STUDY or STEADY??

 shy shy sour xD

 jia you! huhuu...

 work with your 'CHARGER'... hahaa...

 'suk' looking at people... hahaa xD!!!

 what the hell?? my NETBOOK!!!

 drinking while playing!!! ILLEGAL crime!!!

 'sukk'... hahaa ;D...

 what are you smiling at, SABRINNA?? haha ;D!

 poor BOOKS and PENCILS... hahaa!

 FAFAA!!! you preferred COMPUTER over BOOKS?

 what are you trying to say, FAFAA?

 yummy ;D!

 my mom's cooking ;D!

BEST!

when I was with my friends, I was TOTALLY over you...

BUT!

not long after my FRIENDS left, the SORROW feeling came back to me...

   WHY?!

why I can't just GET OVER you?!

only ONE THING that can help to EVAPORATE this feeling...

WHICH is...

for YOU to FORGIVE and FORGET me...

PLEASE!

come back to me!

please... 

[ENTRY] my punishment...

WHY?!

what did I do to DESERVE this kind of TREATMENT?!

why are YOU making me feel like I'm the GUILTY one?!

I feel like I have no REASONS to LIVE anymore!

AM I REALLY that BAD of a PERSON?!
I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO CRY MY HEARTS OUT!!!

ARGHHHHH!!!!

ya ALLAH!

please forgive my SINS towards my FRIENDS!

please, oh please STRENGTHENS my FRIENDSHIP with him!

amin ya rabbal alamin...

[ENTRY] I am still hoping...

TODAY!

HISTORY is such a SILENT KILLER!

ARGHHHH!

but, I SURVIVED the RAVE!

IT only hurt me a little and NOT more!

and OH MY GOD!

I SLEPT like a BABY in class =.=zZz...

huhuu..

I was so TIRED just now!!!

but I FELT GREATER than ever!!!

BUT!

my HEART is still not at ease...

I am still hoping for our FRIENDSHIP will be back to NORMAL :(...

ya ALLAH, please give me back my FRIENDS back...

ESPECIALLY HIM...

amin... 

[ENTRY] my life today had gotten even worst...

TODAY!

the exam today is ENGLISH, well I am quite SATISFY with it!

ESPECIALLY my NARRATING ESSAY..

I hope the teacher who is MARKING it..
like my essay xD!!!

BUT!

I am really REALLY satisfy with it!

BUT!

I am also feeling like a SOBER today!

I cannot stop THINKING NEGATIVE about you!

but I hope that we can GET TOGETHER once more!

I hope that our FRIENDSHIP will last FOREVER!

ya ALLAH, please save my FRIENDSHIP with HIM..

open his HEART to ACCEPT me as his FRIEND!

AMIN ya rabbal alamin...

[ENTRY] exam is just around the corner...

OMG! the EXAMINATION is just around the corner! nah.. exam or no exam is just the same for me.. I don't study much at all.. I always do my revision last minute.. and now you know a little bit more about me xD! and tomorrow afternoon got a camp which is called KEM SAINS ALAM SEMULA JADI or something like that.. where me, ANGEL and JACK [not real names] are picked to join it! huhuu.. JIA YOU both of you, and me also >.<''!! tomorrow's EXAM is BAHASA MALAYSIA.. so easy.. just have to study about LITERATURE and NOVEL ;D! GANBATTE!! see you in the next chapter!

[ENTRY] I wish...

hmmm... I wish that I could spend more time with YOU.. smiling and looking at you isn't enough to satisfy me.. I need to find a way to get near you as frequent as possible.. and I really can't wait this date, 24 NOVEMBER 2O1O, where me and the rest of my PREFECTS friends go for an outing to KUCHING! we're going to visit the ORPHANS' HOUSE, then the UNIMAS, then go to a HIGH QUALITY SCHOOL.. at night, we also go to the shopping center, the BOULEVARD, plus the SATOK shopping complex as well.. I really wanted to go and spend more time with you and my other friends.. we'll go for a walk together, enjoy our time together and do lots of FUN stuffs together!! I hope that the time would be shorten to the DATE...

[ENTRY] my BUSY life...

my life is getting busier and busier. I hardly have time to update my blog. hmmm... and it is also getting closer to the FINAL EXAM! nooooooo!!! FUCK it =.=''.. but I was very happy because I have got so many SUPPORTIVE and NICE FRIENDS!! love love LOVE love you guys xD! I am nothing without you guys! I hope we can be FRIENDS for the rest of our life and till the end!!! I would like to show my appreciation to you guys!!
FOR ::: --

• SYIFA : we've been friends since primary four. but you are my CLOSEST friends of all! you're KIND, FRIENDLY, and sometimes childish.. hahahaa xD! you also supportive and always be by my side when I need someone to talk to.
• SHIQIN : we too have been friends since primary four. you always bring joy and stories when you are by my side. you're KIND, HEART-WARMING and sometimes can be a pain in my butt ;D! hahahaa..
• AZAM : you always made me laughs, although your jokes aren't so funny at all. hahaa.. really >.<''! and you are one of my guy friends who I can talk to about personal stuffs. but sometimes you are such a busybody =.=..
• ALLEN : you also make jokes and also sometimes the jokes isn't funny at all. I sometimes laugh at your jokes, and those jokes had always made my frown turns upside down xD! so, thanks!
• NAZREEN : you also one of my guy friends who I can confess to. although you are far away from us, but you always been helping me, physically and spiritually.
• NIESA : you are the one who I always like to talk to. our houses were so near, until if we were boring, we can visit each others house and chat.
• NINA : you always understand me. you know what I mean right? hahaha samida xD! and you also always made me laugh until my tears came out! hahahaha xD! samida xD!
• UNG KANG : although we have met each other within this lucky year, I was always glad to chat with you. sometimes your chat can evaporates my tears and turn my frown upside down. I always wanted a friend who can do that and I have found you! thanks for willing to be my FRIEND! and I hope that our friendship could last forever and ever!!
• AFIQAH, NANA, ANIE and AYUNI : the four of you had always brightened my day. with your honest smiles and joyous laugh. hahahah xD~

And to all who had not stated here, I also appreciate your friendships! so, THANKS! ARIGATO GOZAIMASU! TERIMA KASIH! XIE XIE! SYUKRAN! NAMASTE! GAMSAHABNIDA!

[SPECIAL ENTRY] Salam Aidilfitri buat semua ;D

Minal aidil walfa izin buat semua pembaca... Maafkanlah aku jika aku pernah berbuat silap terhadap korang... Especially buat Syifa dan Shiqin yang telah berkawan denganku sejak Darjah Empat lagi... Maafkanlah yerr?? Seterusnya aku nak minta maaf dengan family and cousinku yang telah hidup bersamaku sejak aku kecik lagi... Lebih lebih lagi kepada Meyla dan Amir, kerna aku pernah marah marah kat korang... Aku pun nak minta maaf dengan ibuku yang tersayang and kakak kakak dan abang ku yang ku hormati... Adik ku yang bujat pun sama... Hahaa... Seterusnya kepada allahyarham ayahanda ku yang ku hormati dan sanjungi... Maafkanlah aku, ayah... Aihh, tertitis air mata la pulak... Huhuu... Seterusnya kepada kawanku, Allenovack... Maafkanlah aku kerna aku pernah mempermainkan kau... Selepas itu, aku nak minta maaf kepada Azam jika diri ini pernah membuatkanmu naik marah... Dalam pada itu [jadi essayla pulak], kepada Sabrinna, Nazreen, Niesa, Hafizah, Afiqah, Zawani, Suhana, Ayunie, Mona, Nurul, Shahila, Atul, Mena, Cynthia, Shella and kepada semua yang mengenali diri inilah... MAAFKAN AKU!!! Last but not the least kepada guru guru yang pernah mengajar diri ku ini hingga ku dapat 3A 2B dalam UPSR dan 6A 2B dalam PMR dan mungkin 10A+ [amin... hehee], Miss Fatimah, Miss Jessica Mapong, Miss Jessica Dora, Madam Chew Hong Keng, Madam Lau Lili, Mister Ting Pang Keng, Cikgu Isha, Cikgu Mohaidin, Cikgu Maizatul, Miss Kuok, Cikgu Ting Sie Nei, Cikgu Kong Fung Fei, Madam Yek Choo Foong, Mister Wong Wai Lun, Cikgu Koh Ing Sing, Cikgu Tang Siew Kiong, Cikgu Suriana, Cikgu Hidayati, Cikgu Zulkarnain, Ustaz Shahrim, Ustazah Nik Ashmaton, Cikgu Doreen Wong, Cikgu Pui Siaw Inn dan kepada cikgu cikgu yang pernah mengajar diriku ini... PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING NAUGHTY!!! Itu sajalah yang ingin ku meminta maaf... Kepada sesiapa yang ku terlupa, MAAFKAN AKU!!! Huhuu!!

[ENTRY] a new FIREFLY flying to my life... parte one

The moonlight had shone the pavement path to my happy and gaily new life. While I'm on my way to my fantasy dream, the envious clouds shielded the moonlight and darkened my path. Then came a beautiful FIREFLY flew in front of me, lighting my way. The presence of the magical creature made my life even more glorious. The path to my fantasy dream was miles and miles away from my current place. But the playful creature blinked its light numerous times, just to keep me accompanied. Suddenly, the firefly stopped a few meters in front of me. It turned its whole body and faced me. Although it was small like an ant, but I could still see its smile. A smile that made my day such a happy and joyous day! Moments after that, it continued its way.

"hours felt like minutes and minutes felt like seconds...

be with your friends and you will feel this while you're with them...

because...

friends can help us pass the time..."

As I opened my timid eyes, I was there. The door to my fantasy dream. The door had a huge, brassy handle and I pushed it swiftly. The air inside the door caressed my face and the sweet smell came from the bloomed flowers soothed my mind. The bitterness of my atrocious past had gone passed me and the sweetness of my wonderful future was on its way...

to be continued... 

[ENTRY] When things started to come along once again...

As days pass by, as we getting old, another conflict happens. It is now about my BELOVED gf [good friend :D]. She had some problems with her relationship. She said to me that everything was alright but suddenly someone she'd LOVED and CARED for a long time had came to her life, once more. She was starting to fall apart and lose hope, but me and my other friends tried to cheer her up. As she reminisced the dreadful, unforgettable past, she wanted to let teardrops but she tried to hold it in her. I can see it through her eyes. When she started talking and reminiscing her past, we heard the WHOLE story carefully. She told us about when she and him argued in the phone, and when they CONFESS to each other [wow, so romantic and passionate :D]. And now, the problem had started. She didn't know whom to pick. She tapped the wooden, brown table with her fingers whilst thinking whom to pick and the decision was as hard as forgetting him. She asked me and my friends for some 'friend-to-friend' opinions. She asked her little sister at first, then she said "FOLLOW your heart" and she also said "PICK none if it was so hard to let go to both of them". Then she asked my friend, she also don't know. Then she asked me. I took a day or two to figure out how and finally I gave her my answer. I also said FOLLOW your heart but [wow, a but =.=] I also said "don't REGRET what you do and do REGRET what you don't". She was filled with aghast feeling. She afraid of any decision, she thought it might turn bad or even WORST. I then said, "Just CUT the strings and be free". She silent. Then she asked my other friend, she said the same thing. Then, she got back to the first friend she asked, and she said that her mother said to LET go. She then smiled. Now she know what to do [or did she?]. She said to me that she wanted to let go of the PAST and stay with the future. Then I butted in and said, "Do you really can forget about him? After you both confessed to each other that day?". She then be silent again. 

"the sun arose to light the EARTH,

the dark clouds covered the EARTH with water,

then the sun shone back to clear the water,

then crystal droplets came down once more..."

Later that afternoon, we had club meeting. She car-pooled with me to school. After passing the hallway, she said to me that I was right [yes, I was?]. She said that she couldn't forget about him and she also didn't want to let go of the present one. She was still perplexed and didn't know what to do. This is the biggest CONFLICT and the hardest one to handle! I said then, "Think about it and just HEAR your heart and CLEAR your mind"...

[ENTRY] The HYDROGEN BONDS...

Wow. I got the feeling that OUR [me and Vack] hydrogens bonds are getting stronger and stronger. He talked to me! TODAY! YEA! I was perplexed at first, but then I got back to reality, IT WAS DAMN REAL! YES! I hope we both start talking soon. I missed that time :(.

SPECIAL POST for a FRIEND

the day becomes night, the miss becomes love, the hug becomes kiss. oh how I love all the stuffs. but when the LIVINGS had return to the CREATOR, I wish that couldn't happen to all of us. I only praying for the LIFE of the people in my surrounding, let them live longer, happier and no sadness. we beg for YOUR forgiveness, oh our great CREATOR, upon all the LIVINGS and the DEAD, forgive all they sins that they had done in this cruel, neglected world. forgive our sins upon the TEACHERS, FRIENDS and FAMILIES who had TEACH, GUIDE and LOVE us. help the DEAD in the underworld, guide them, open their heart to answer all of the ANGELS' questions. let them answer in peace and perfectly. we, the children will always pray for the elders and EVERY CHILD PRAYS IS WORTH IT.
al-FATIHAH for my father, SHIQIN's grandmother and all who had leave us on this world.

MAY 26, 2010

the morning was nothing out of the ordinary. the effect of the universal global warming had gotten to me. the air in the surrounding nature had been polluted by the smell of burning trees. the awful odour had protruded my nose and my head started to spin like a top. the wind made by the spinning mechanism on the ceiling, caressed my face, feeling the pleasure. I was sitting opposite to my dearest friend, whilst she revised for upcoming exam. I was facing the back of the quiet classroom and then, there was him. the boy was sitting , head down, facing the wooden table while reading and revising. every time I see him, my heart broke down and it was all my fault we've been like this. I was naive at that particular time. I was such an ego. I was such a hypocrite. my heart was so very mild and I couldn't control my solid form and soul. how could I do this to him, and because of that, our beautiful friendship had broken and maybe, just maybe, cannot be fixed anymore.

"my heart, mind and soul cannot be bind

anymore . . ."

the sudden silence made me shivers to my spine. my hair danced as the nature's polluted wind blows through it. the outside world is to bright for me to view. the light from the sun, it's like a poison to my eyes as they past through my lens. everyday when I see him, my eyes gotten watery. when I look at him, my heart felt like wanted to cry. I can't describe the feelings in my heart, which had made me very curious. oh I wish I could read my heart, not only my mind.

"as she opened her mouth,

tears started to fall . . ."

as she started to open her mouth, my heart stopped a beat for a while. I heard the most terrifying word in my dictionary, FATHER. as she said that she had a dream containing my father's soul in it, I was devastated. I kept my eyes from leaking, and yet, I had victorious. she continued her story as I mentally kicked myself numerous times, to avoid me from falling apart. after she ended her story with laughter, I painted a decent, yet fake smile on my face. I tried to hide my sadness and it worked. she didn't notice the inner me, which was crying his eyes out.

"he was a sweet yet strong man

who loved his family

a lot . . ."