MAY 26, 2010

the morning was nothing out of the ordinary. the effect of the universal global warming had gotten to me. the air in the surrounding nature had been polluted by the smell of burning trees. the awful odour had protruded my nose and my head started to spin like a top. the wind made by the spinning mechanism on the ceiling, caressed my face, feeling the pleasure. I was sitting opposite to my dearest friend, whilst she revised for upcoming exam. I was facing the back of the quiet classroom and then, there was him. the boy was sitting , head down, facing the wooden table while reading and revising. every time I see him, my heart broke down and it was all my fault we've been like this. I was naive at that particular time. I was such an ego. I was such a hypocrite. my heart was so very mild and I couldn't control my solid form and soul. how could I do this to him, and because of that, our beautiful friendship had broken and maybe, just maybe, cannot be fixed anymore.

"my heart, mind and soul cannot be bind

anymore . . ."

the sudden silence made me shivers to my spine. my hair danced as the nature's polluted wind blows through it. the outside world is to bright for me to view. the light from the sun, it's like a poison to my eyes as they past through my lens. everyday when I see him, my eyes gotten watery. when I look at him, my heart felt like wanted to cry. I can't describe the feelings in my heart, which had made me very curious. oh I wish I could read my heart, not only my mind.

"as she opened her mouth,

tears started to fall . . ."

as she started to open her mouth, my heart stopped a beat for a while. I heard the most terrifying word in my dictionary, FATHER. as she said that she had a dream containing my father's soul in it, I was devastated. I kept my eyes from leaking, and yet, I had victorious. she continued her story as I mentally kicked myself numerous times, to avoid me from falling apart. after she ended her story with laughter, I painted a decent, yet fake smile on my face. I tried to hide my sadness and it worked. she didn't notice the inner me, which was crying his eyes out.

"he was a sweet yet strong man

who loved his family

a lot . . ."